...footprints

Footprints In The Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with a cute guy.

Many scenes from my trips flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed many times that during the low tide on White beach,

when I was suffering from Heat Exhaustion, Dehydration & Burnt Feet,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the cute guy,“You promised me, that if I called on you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during some of the trips in my life there was only one set of

footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most, you were not there for me?”

The cute guy replied,“Those times when you saw only one set of footprints in the sand,

was when you were skint.”

...beauty pageant

(grabbed from pinoy boso...hahaha, kalerke!)

Pageant Night Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion.
The FINALISTS :
Miss America Miss Spain Miss Britain Miss Philippines Miss Iran Miss India Miss Japan

QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.

QUESTION : Why do you say that?

MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.....
(Applause!.... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.

QUESTION : Why do you say that?

MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.
(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes.

QUESTION : Why do you say that?

MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive.
(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves

QUESTION : And why do you say that?

MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door.....
(Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.

QUESTION : Why do you say that?

MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night....
(Applause!..Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play....because it bows down after every performance.
(Applause!..Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh...well, opcors, hihihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis...

QUESTION : Chismis???

MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry... Its ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language.

QUESTION : Hmm... Interesting comparison. And why do you say that?

MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy...Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi...Kasi....I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth..
(STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)